How do I do at avoiding the blog media cliches catalogued by Gawker? Let’s see:
Best. [ultimate thing or experience.] Ever/Evar. Minor violator. I’m totally clean on “evar” but I can’t say the same for a couple of people who’ve left comments.
FTW, O RLY, lol, FTL, OMG, FWIW, btw, PWND,ROTFL, etc. Totally clean.
[negative experience, situation, or description]; I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Totally clean, but I do occasionally use this one in conversation.
[purposefully non-ghetto statement], yo. I’ll see you in hell first.
[undesirable conclusion]. Oy. Not me.
[amazed paraphrase of opposing position]. Seriously? Seriously? Never. Looking at an archive of my use of the word “seriously,” I see that using it even once is nearly always excessive. It adds nothing.
What’s next? [outlandish scenario]? Used four times, including once in 2006. Guilty.
I’m looking at you, [example of complaint]. Never.
Um, [condescension]? Used once in 2005.
[Argument], wait for it, [rhetorical flourish]. Not me.
[Undesirable experience] made my [sensory organ] bleed. Unused.
[adjective]-y goodness I haven’t used it, but I use “thank goodness” way too often.
[any word]-gasm This site is a gasm-free zone.
[x] is the new [y]. Used four or five times over the years, without regret.
Never let it be said that I fear accountability.